I scored me some tickets to the Columbus Clippers Home Opener.  It wasn’t hard.  I just visited their website and clicked around a little and there they were.  The game is April 13 against the Buffalo Bisons, who are the AAA affiliate of the Cleveland Indians, not to be confused with the Indianapolis Indians, who are the AAA affiliate of the Pittsburgh Pirates.  The Clippers used to be the AAA affiliate of the New York Yankees, but the Yankees took over the Scranton / Wilkes-Barre Red Barons, formerly the AAA affiliate of the Philadelphia Phillies, and renamed the Red Barons the Yankees.  The Phillies AAA affiliate is now the Ottawa Lynx.  This is the International League, by the way (Ottawa is the only non-U.S. team in the I.L.)  The Clippers are now the AAA affiliate of the Washington Nationals.  The Nationals AAA affiliate had been the New Orleans Zephyrs of the Pacific Coast League, but this year the Zephyrs are the AAA affiliate of the New York Mets, who’s AAA affiliate used to be the Norfolk Tides of the I.L.  The Norfolk Tides are now the AAA affiliate of the Baltimore Orioles, who’s AAA affiliate last year was the Ottawa Lynx.  The Tides Home Opener is against the Louisville Bats, who are of course the AAA affiliate of the Cincinnati Reds.

And speaking of the Nationals and Reds…(Larkin & Leather Pants, Kearns & Lopez, Majewski, cortisone, grievance)…oh, forget it.  I’m not in the mood.

The International League also has the Toledo Mud Hens (Detroit Tigers) and the Durham Bulls (Tampa Bay Devil Rays–or maybe they’re just Rays now.) 

We all know the Mud Hens are the favorite team of corporal Max Klinger from the tv show M*A*S*H, and of course the Durham Bulls were immortalized in the movie Bull Durham featuring Crash Davis and Ebby Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh.  "Why’s he calling me meat?  I’m the one driving a Porsche."

I like the minor league games.  they’re fun and inexpensive.  I’m a lot closer to Columbus than Cincinnati, and I wind up seeing more Clippers games than Reds games.  It was kind of strange rooting for the AAA affiliate of a team I don’t really like, although I did like the Yankees when they had Paul O’Neill, and when George Costanza was the assistant to the traveling secretary, but that was a while ago.  Now that the Nationals have taken over, I’m curious to see what they do to the uniforms.  When last seen by me, they looked like Yankees uniforms with a Clippers logo.  Here, I’ll insert a picture of Derek Jeter from his Clippers Days… 

Clearly this is Derek Jeter, but I see now the blue in this picture looks more royal than navy.  Bad example.  But trust me, they did eventually look like Yankees uniforms.  I assume the Nationals will want to change that.  And I’ll find out on April 13th.

 

I finally read an article about how Griffey broke his hand.  Let’s see, how did that story go again?  He was with his sons and daughter on a boat…

A sloop?  A dory?  A dinghy?  I know not what ship they be sailing upon, d’ye see, but Cap’n Griffey and his young crew were in hot latitudes, and thought by some to be in search of the elusive tarpon snook and ballyhoo.  Avast there, thinks I, they be headin’ straight into heathenous sharked waters off the windward side of Bimini.  By Jimmini, no sooner had their baited lines dropped over the leeward beam, when up from the bottomless blue burst an accursed shark, leaping through the gangway, and landing hard upon the deck. 

"Steady, helmsman!"  cried Cap’n Griffey.  With his lightning-tempered blade between his teeth, Cap’n Griffey launched himself from the quarter-deck, landing upon the heaving bulk of the devilish fish.  "Fear not, my hearties!"  reassured Cap’n Griffey as he whacked the unmannerly shark with the blunt end of his cutlass.  "Be cheery, lads and lass!"  said he becalmingly, and heaved the stunned shark over the starboard gunwale.

Aye, Carumba!  But as Cap’n Griffey celebrated with his crew, the ship pitched down her bowsprit, flinging Cap’n Griffey headlong against the forecastle bulwarks.  He bounced off the binnacle, knocked into the jib-boom, and tumbled straight amidships, landing hard against the mizzenmast.  Aye, the long and short of it is, Cap’n Griffey’s left hand split its keel, d’ye see.

But then I read another article about how Griffey broke his hand, and there was no mention of a shark.  Oh well.  At least he seems to be healing up nicely.

Spring Training.  ‘Bout time.  Ok — this seems like a good time to size up the competition in the good ol’ N.L. Central.  I don’t have the time or the patience to go in-depth, so I’m just going to scan the headlines from the past six weeks to see what’s been going on (actual headlines in no particular order from official sites):

Cardinals:

1. World Champion Cards visit White House
2. Cardinals to receive Series rings April 3
3. Cardinals eager to defend title
4. St. Louis awarded 2009 All-Star Game
5. Card’s Edmonds undergoes toe surgery

Well, there you go–the Cardinals won the Big One, and are eager to keep the party going.  I think by definition, that makes them – as they say – the team to beat.   

Brewers:

1. Two closers for comfort in Milwaukee
2. Brewers expect competition in outfield
3. Koskie a question mark at the hot corner
4. Brewers poised for postseason run
5. Brewers single-game tickets on sale Feb.24

Two closers?  Competition in the outfield?  Hmm, good luck with that.  The third headline would have been better if Corey Koskie’s first name was Mark.  So, the Brewers have questions, but are poised.  What does this mean?  I don’t know.

Pirates:

1. pirates request change in ownership structure
2. Pirates re-introduce red to uniforms
3. Bucs rotation will be key in ’07
4. Upgraded offense should help Buc trend
5. Many questions as Buc’s spring begins.

So, with good pitching and better offense, the Pirates should win more games.  Too bad those pesky questions get in the way.  The third headline would be better if the Pirates had a pitcher named Key. 

Astros:

1. Tuesday declared "Jeff Bagwell Day"
2. Where will Rocket land this season?
3. Pettitte wants Clemens to join him in N.Y.
4. Clemens visits camp; offers few hints
5. Astros single-game tickets on sale Friday

Pettitte left.  Clemens won’t commit.  All "Houston, we have a problem" jokes aside, any pitching problem in Houston looks good for the competition.

Cubs:

1. Cubs hope to go from last to first
2. Cubs notes: Piniella wants a swagger
3. Zambrano center of attention at camp
4. Wrigley to feature Under Armour ads
5. Cubs single-game tickets on sale Feb 23

The Cubs slogan for 2007, according to the latest Zambrano-ultimatum story, is "play like there’s no tomorrow."  I don’t know; if I were playing like there’s no tomorrow, I’d play as fast as possible, then get the **** out of there–pronto!  I’d probably wind up rushing my throws and getting impatient at the plate.  It’d be a disaster.  Hey, but that’s just me.  It’ll be nice to see Lou Piniella in Cincinnati again.

>And in conclusion:  Single-game tickets for both the Cardinals and Pirates go on sale March 3.  Still no word on Reds single-gamers.

It goes without saying that Opening Day is a big deal in Cincinnati.  There’s a parade and everything.  A very festive celebration of the renewal of baseball.  I’ve tried to get Opening Day tickets before either by phone or computer.  It’s either a busy signal or I’m told all operators are busy or I’m put on a virtual waiting list.  It all gets me nowhere.  I haven’t had Opening Day tickets since 1995.  I guess I don’t really ever expect to get them.  I don’t go the scalper rout.

So what’s the difference if John Allen says, "we’re telling people the best way to get Opening Day tickets is to buy a season ticket."  The message I’m getting here is there will be so few Opening Day tickets available–if any are available–when single-game tickets go on sale, they’ll be gone in two seconds.

Clearly, the difference is I had at least a slim chance to get Opening Day tickets before, and now apparently I have none.  You can buy any of several season ticket packages.  Obviously only one is a full season (81 games.)  Then there’s the weekday plan (42 games, M-Th) and the weekend plan (39 games, F-Sa-Su) and the 20-game plan for either weekdays or weekends.  All these plans include tickets to Opening Day.  As I understand it, Opening Day tickets used to only come with the full season plan, so you can see how the Opening Day tickets are getting used up.  A single-game ticket-buyer like myself is out of luck.

This irks me because I have the same enthusiasm about buying tickets for the new season as anybody.  I just live farther away, and get to fewer games.  You see, what I do is, after I try and fail to get Opening Day tickets, I check the schedule and look at certain dates and who’s playing when and what promotions are going on and things like that, and I pre-order for a game here or a game there that I think I can probably make, and I get excited about it and eagerly await the arrival of the tickets.  Maybe not quite like those guys in Fever Pitch, but it is something I enjoy.  It stinks being denied the chance to get lucky with Opening day tickets.

I’ve wondered what it would be like to line up early at the stadium ticket window.  Take a little vacation and go camping for a week or so.  It wouldn’t be easy.  I’d need supplies: food and water, sleeping bag, wool Skivvies.  And where does one go to the bathroom?  Good personal hygiene could be hard to maintain.  It could be rough, really putting survival instinct and skills to the test.  But when it’s all over, and I’m taking down my tent with one hand while clutching my Opening Day tickets in the other, I’d never have felt so alive!  Now it looks like this has become just a romanticized adventure from a bygone era. 

Well, there are other games, so I guess I could still camp out for a few days to buy tickets.  You have to admit though, camping out to buy tickets to games that aren’t sold out, just for the experience of camping out to but tickets, would be hard to do without looking like a complete idiot.  I guess I could say I was camping out for Opening Day in protest of the perceived unfairness of the Opening Day ticket package selling method.  I could protest how some sort of corporate greed is oppressing the single-game ticket-buying fan.  And now that I think about it, I could also protest that this Opening Day package method is destroying the habitat of the Opening Day ticket-buying line campers. 

In the end, the ticket window would open and I’d be told there are plenty of tickets available for every game except the sold-out Opener.  But at least I could hold my head high knowing I took a stand for something I believe in, even though secretly I’d be hoping there’d be media attention, and that someone out there would be moved enough by my sad, suffering story of protest to give me free tickets to Opening Day.

Yeah, like that’ll ever happen.

In other news– I see the Reds tacked a couple more years onto Bronson Arroyo’s contract.  That’s good.  I like Arroyo.  I like his attitude.  He pitches like he owns the inside corner.  Too many times over the last five or so years I’ve seen opposing hitters dig in at the plate and lean out there all comfortable like they own the place, and the Reds pitcher serves up one of those lame pitch-to-contact clunkers and gets bombed.  It’s nice to see Arroyo brush guys back occasionally. 

  This colorful shot is from 2000.  Riverfront Stadium is now called Cinergy field.  It’s the last year of artificial turf in Riverfront/Cinergy, so this’ll be the last of this turf memory stuff.

Let’s see– Ex-Red Lenny Harris is playing first with Chris Stynes taking a lead.  Bobby Jones is pitching to Ken Griffey Jr. with Mike Piazza catching, and I don’t know who’s on third.  Dave Collins is coaching first.

At the time of this picture, Dave Collins had been with the Reds a long time, off and on.  He had some near misses with the Reds’ postseason glory.

Dave Collins began his Big League career with the California Angels in 1975. He was an Angel in ’76 too.  Like most of us, he was on the outside looking in at the Reds as they won back-to-back championships.  the Angels meanwhile improved from last to fifth. 

In 1977, Collins had the distinction of playing for the expansion Seattle Mariners in their inaugural season.  they finished fifth.  Meanwhile, the Reds slumped a bit, finishing in second,10 games behind the Dodgers, despite George Foster’s 52 home runs.   Did Dave Collins wonder if he could have helped push the Reds into first if he’d been on the team?  I’ll never know, but in 1978, Dave Collins was traded to the Cincinnati Reds.

The Reds rebounded a bit with Collins, finishing in second again, but only 2.5 games behind L.A. this time.  With an expanded roll in 1979, Collins batted .318 and the Reds won the division!  Dave Collins had reached the postseason with the Reds, but would he know the glory of victory?

The playoffs were cruel to the Reds in ’79.  The Pittsburgh Pirates were dancing to the disco strains of Sister Sledge’s "We Are Family" with the great Willie "Pops" Stargell leading the way–all the way to the World Championship. 

While the Pirates added a colorful chapter to the time line of Major League Baseball, it had to be tough for the Reds, losing to a team rallying around a disco song.  The Reds fell to third place in 1980, despite Dave Collins stealing 79 bases–2 shy of the Reds record 81 set by Bob Bescher in 1911.

These are the times when men have to pick themselves up by their stirrup socks and forge ahead.  That’s what Collins and his fellow Reds did in 1981.  And what a comeback it was.  Not only did the Reds finish with the best record in the N.L., they had the best record in the Majors!  Unfortunately, the requirements for postseason play took a little vacation in ’81, and the Reds were effectively banned from playoff participation.  It was a slap in the face that still stings today with people who are particularly sensitive to things like that that happened a long time ago. 

Did Dave Collins think his chances of reaching postseason glory with the Reds were doomed?  It seemed Major League Baseball itself had made a movement to prevent it. Well I just don’t know, but Collins left the Reds after that ’81 disappointment, and went back to his roots in the American League.  He was with the Yankees in ’82 finishing fifth out of seven.  He left the country to play for the Blue Jays in ’83, finishing fourth.  He stayed on with the Blue Jays as they improved to second, but they still finished 15 games behind the Tigers, who went on to win the World Series.  Collins moved back west and played for the A’s in 1985.  They finished fifth, while the Blue Jays finished in first.

In 1986 Collins joined the Detroit Tigers who hoped to recapture their World Series glory from 1984.  They finished in third.  Meanwhile, over in the N.L., the Reds came in second.

Dave Collins rejoined the Reds in 1987.  Pete Rose was the Reds manager now.  After his Ty Cobb record-breaking hit in ’85, he’d moved the Reds up from fifth place to second.  Collins was no spring chicken, now in his 13th season, but he was among young guys like Barry Larkin, Eric Davis, and Paul O’Neill who were hungry for the postseason.  Still the Reds finished second in ’87.  They finished second in ’88 too.  Collins was sticking with it.  They were so close.

1989 was not a good year for the Reds.  The Pete Rose gambling scandal hit the fan.  With Pete Rose gone, the Reds took a tumble–right back into fifth place.  What a bummer.  It looked like Collins’ shot at postseason glory with the Reds had slipped away.

1990 saw Dave Collins on a new team–the St. Louis Cardinals.  The Cards had finished seven games out in third in ’89, and didn’t look too bad with Jose Guerrero, Terry Pendleton, Vince Coleman, Ozzie Smith, Willie McGee…

Meanwhile, 1990 saw the Reds win their first game and stay in first place the entire season.  New manager Lou Piniella had those guys really fired up for the postseason.  They beat the Pirates who had the big bats of Barry Bonds and Bobby Bonilla, then swept the vaunted A’s who had the Bash Brothers Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire.  Yes, the Reds had won the 1990 World Series.

The 1990 Cardinals finished in last place.  After 16 years in the Big Leagues, Dave Collins hung ‘em up.

Time marches on…

We skip ahead to 1999.  Dave Collins is back with the Reds, this time as 1B coach.  His shot at another postseason with the Reds was working well until a little late-season slump put the Reds in a tie with the Mets for the wildcard.  They played a 1-game playoff.  The Reds lost.

Collins stayed with the Reds in 2000.  Ken Griffey Jr. had just joined the Reds.  Who knows–with that potent offense and some decent pitching… 

 

Saarloos…Meadows…Guardado…Harang…

The Reds just signed Harang to a 4-yr deal, thus avoiding arbitration, which is a relief, I’m sure.

  Ok, so here’s how it goes: Harang and Arroyo pitch like they did last year, or better.  Saarloos keeps that sinker down and looks like Arroyo from last year.  Bailey comes up and pitches as well as people hope he’ll pitch.  Sounds great so far.  Really the only possible weakness I see is with the entire rest of the Reds’ game.  You know– fielding and base running and situational hitting and all that nit-picky stuff.  But if they can iron that out in spring training, they should win a lot of games this year.  2007 certainly could turn out to be very exciting.

By the way, spell-check for "Saarloos" comes up with these alternate spelling suggestions:

• Sailors
• Seals
• Shallows
• Seafloors
• Snarls
• Solos
• Slobs
• Saloons

…among others.  It’s nice to have options.

July 28, 1996.  Mets in town.  Met up with a couple of friends early to see what all this Family Day stuff was about.  Reds players, their wives & kids were hanging around, socializing, then played a whiffle ball game or something.  It was pretty informal, as I recall. 

About the picture — I like the picture, but I think describing the circumstances around it will probably be similar to someone describing how to prepare a glass of ice water, then explaining how to drink it.  But there’s not much else going on right now, so here goes…

When I look at the picture, it’s not hard for me to forget the negatives associated with Marge Schott.  I can also forget for a moment that when Ray Knight was with the Mets, he once ******-punched Eric Davis at third base.  Here I just see a touching scene of an owner posing with her manager; an arm around each other.  I like all the red and white set off nicely by the green background.  I like how Marge’s outfit shows her love of the Reds.  I like that she’s holding the leash to her beloved Schottzie 02.  And I particularly like that while the photographer is fumbling around with his camera, I beat him to the shot (people do say I’m pretty competitive.)

It was like one of those movie scenes where someone is looking through binoculars and notices he’s looking at someone looking back at him through binoculars.  Sort of.  I saw Marge Schott and Ray Knight go into their pose and I thought it might be nice to have a picture of them being photographed, so I raised my camera, zoomed in, framed the shot, focused, and… the photographer lowered his camera and started messing with the settings.  I waited a moment, but I didn’t have all day, so I took the picture before he was ready.  But I quickly rewound my camera and held it on the scene, waiting for the guy to hurry up and take his picture so I could get that picture of Marge Scott and Ray Knight just as they were getting their picture taken. But he kept fiddling with his camera.  Marge and Ray Knight were watching the little Reds baby take those little baby steps.  Then I wondered if I was the reason he wasn’t taking the picture.  Maybe my camera lens was reflecting the sunlight, or maybe he just didn’t want someone pointing a camera at him in the background of his picture.  Beats me, but as soon as I put my camera down, he raised his and took the picture.

This was Marge Schotts’ first day back on the field after a banning.  The ban had been partially lifted, allowing her to be on the field and to have access to her seats.  So this was a pretty big deal.  The photo of the hug wound up on the front page of the Cincinnati Enquirer (I put the picture up in the corner.)  And did I mention I’m in it?  I’m that blurry guy in the green t-shirt right behind Marge Schott’s head.

Oh, the game was all Mets, but it was a beautiful day to just hang out at the old ball yard and take in a game.  I had a good time as usual.

"Owners & players: to **** with all of you"    That was the banner being towed by the plane that flew around the skies above Riverfront Stadium on Opening Day 1995. 

 

April 26, 1995 — Opening Day!  I didn’t go down to the stadium early to be sure I got a ticket.  No indeed, there would be no problem buying a ticket as this game did not sell out.  I went early so I wouldn’t miss the big press conference announcing the signing of the Reds’ new rookie outfielder phenom, Big Red the elephant!  Big Red had a canon for an arm–er–trunk, and could knock the cover off the ball, you know– like a 40-yr old on flaxseed oil.  What do you expect with over 40,000 muscles in his trunk!  Unfortunately, before Big Red could play in his first game, the rules were changed to specifically ban pachyderms from playing Major League baseball.  Big Red was however allowed on the field to throw out the first pitch.  Big Red said through a translator that he was grateful to be able to share in the festivities of Opening Day, and that it was an honor he would never forget.

The mood was downright somber.  Player intros got boos with a small spattering of applause.  It wasn’t much of a game.  Cubs got 5 off Rijo.  Ron Gant grounded into a bases-loaded inning-ending double-play in the 3rd.  Reds didn’t even score til the 8th, and lost 7-1.  But it was a beautiful day, temps in the low 70s, those dollar hot dogs, plenty of elbow room.  And it’s not often you get to see an elephant throw out the first pitch.

Here’s a picture of those 1995 Reds.  From left to right they are: Mgr Davey Johnson, Deion Sanders, Barry Larkin, Hal Morris, Ron Gant, Brett Boone, Benito Santiago, Reggie Sanders, Willie Green, the rest of the team, and Jose Rijo in the bullpen.  And these guys would go on to make the playoffs.  In the immortal words of Mel Allen, "how about that!"

10 REM *** PROGRAM TO CALCULATE MY LEVEL OF BOREDOM ***

20 REM *** VARIABLES ***

30 REM *** NAME$ = PITCHER NAME ***

40 REM *** PITCHER = PITCHER DESIGNATION (1-4 FOR STARTER – CLOSER) ***

50 REM *** STRT, MIDL, SETP, AND CLOS ARE COUNTERS FOR EACH PITCHER ***

60 STRT = 0

70 MIDL = 0

80 SETP = 0

90 CLOS = 0

100 READ NAMES$,PITCHER

110 IF NAME$ = "END" THEN GOTO 280

120 ON PITCHER GOTO 150,180,210,240

130 PRINT "INVALID PITCHER DESIGNATION = ";PITCHER

140 GOTO 100

150 LET STRT = STRT + 1

160 LET P$ = "STARTER"

170 GOTO 260

180 LET MIDL = MIDL + 1

190 LET P$ = "MIDDLE"

200 GOTO 260

210 LET SETP = SETP + 1

220 LET P$ = "SETUP"

230 GOTO 260

240 LET CLOS = CLOS + 1

250 LET P$ = "CLOSER"

260 PRINT NAME$,P$

270 GOTO 100

280 PRINT:PRINT

290 PRINT "PITCHER","COUNT"

300 PRINT "STARTER",STRT

310 PRINT "MIDDLE",MIDL

320 PRINT "SETUP",SETP

330 PRINT "CLOSER",CLOS

340 DATA HARANG,1,ARROYO,1,MILTON,1,BRAY,3

350 DATA STANTON,3,MAJEWSKI,2,DUMATRAIT,3

360 DATA COFFEY,4,WEATHERS,4,SAARLOOS,1

370 DATA BELISLE,2,CORMIER,2,RAMIREZ,1

380 DATA SHACKELFORD,3,LIVINGSTON,2,LOHSE,1,END,0

999 END

]RUN

Here’s one of those boring generic computerized ticket stub designs.  Well, it’s boring except for those two magic words.

Let’s see… As I recall, I spent that weekend in Cincinnati with friends, and had my camera along.  By the time we got to this Sunday afternoon game, I only had a few pictures left, so I wasn’t really thinking about taking pictures during the game.  Then I snapped off a few toward the end just to finish the roll.  It was one of those games that just seemed to blend in with all the others…

Dibble pitched.  Reds won.  Ball thrown.  Seats…  

Well there you go.